“I take it back…”, HAWMC Day 18

  • Write about a time that you lashed out at someone close to you because of frustration/fear/anger resulting from your health condition and you wish you could take it back. Forgive yourself and let it go.

Cute baby crying cute baby crying 1920x1080 300x168 Baby CryingThere are a couple of times I can think of and could mention, and most of them involve my mom and myself. There have been times when I have been upset with what my doctor (rheum mostly, but others too) has said, or how she has handled a situation, that leave me frustrated and upset. To say the least. These feelings, mingled with what I perceive to be my mom siding with the doctor, often end in fights and tears (often on both sides). We have huge shouting matches. Sometimes when I have decided that I am going to tell my mom everything she has done to upset me in the last week, month, couple of months (all medical relating). When I get answers I don’t want, or have ideas turned down, and my mom tries to comfort me, while still showing me the reality and point that the doctor was making, I often take it as her being unsupportive. Which she is anything but.

So for all the times when I have taken my frustrations and feelings out on you mom, I am sorry. For all the times I have been irritable and quick to take offence, and point out what you have done wrong in handling it, and shut out what I did, I am sorry. For the fights, the tears shed, the times I made you the bad guy, I am sorry. I wish I could take it back. But I can’t, and neither can you. All I can do is say sorry, and move forward with a new resolve to try to change the way it plays out. To be less irritable, and find better ways to communicate how I feel, without turning it into a mess. Only time will tell how well this goes… how long it lasts. But I promise to try

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3 thoughts on ““I take it back…”, HAWMC Day 18

  1. Forgive this intrusion. A thuimbnail of that lovely crying toddler of yours hijacked my quest for a new wallpeper, so I skimmed through the thoughts and the pretty photos. I shall deposit few unsolicited opinions. 1.What’s outside often mirrors what’s inside. 2.Sensations know more than modern machinery. 3.Change follows knowledge, knowledge follows observation. End of rant. A warm greeting from Italy.

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