- Write about a time that you lashed out at someone close to you because of frustration/fear/anger resulting from your health condition and you wish you could take it back. Forgive yourself and let it go.
There are a couple of times I can think of and could mention, and most of them involve my mom and myself. There have been times when I have been upset with what my doctor (rheum mostly, but others too) has said, or how she has handled a situation, that leave me frustrated and upset. To say the least. These feelings, mingled with what I perceive to be my mom siding with the doctor, often end in fights and tears (often on both sides). We have huge shouting matches. Sometimes when I have decided that I am going to tell my mom everything she has done to upset me in the last week, month, couple of months (all medical relating). When I get answers I don’t want, or have ideas turned down, and my mom tries to comfort me, while still showing me the reality and point that the doctor was making, I often take it as her being unsupportive. Which she is anything but.
So for all the times when I have taken my frustrations and feelings out on you mom, I am sorry. For all the times I have been irritable and quick to take offence, and point out what you have done wrong in handling it, and shut out what I did, I am sorry. For the fights, the tears shed, the times I made you the bad guy, I am sorry. I wish I could take it back. But I can’t, and neither can you. All I can do is say sorry, and move forward with a new resolve to try to change the way it plays out. To be less irritable, and find better ways to communicate how I feel, without turning it into a mess. Only time will tell how well this goes… how long it lasts. But I promise to try